I Still Like To Hope
by Origami Ink
Summary: A look at one of Neville's visits to see his parents at St. Mungo's...


This idea occurred to me when I was re-reading the fourth HP book, and Harry was thinking about Neville's parents, and what he found out about them in the Pensieve. I kind of wondered what Neville's visits were like. here's what my imagination came up with. Sorry if it's too depressing!  
  
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Neville Longbottom walked into the fireplace, a handful of Floo powder in his fist. He knew exactly where he was going; it was the one place he could go without getting lost. He had been here every Christmas, Easter and weekend during summer break for as long as he could remember. He closed his eyes and shouted, "St. Mungo's Hospital!" and felt himself whizzing past the grates and fireplaces of the wizarding world.  
  
In mere moments, he found himself in the pure white magical hospital lobby. His grandmother followed soon after. They walked together into the psychiatric ward of the hospital, a path they knew well. They were common visitors, and every employee there knew them by name. There was hardly ever any joking around, as all knew what solemn visit the Longbottoms had to make. Most of the nurses, however, were very kind to Neville, often asking him how his studies at Hogwarts were going.  
  
Neville and his grandmother first went to Dr. Engler's office, to see if there was any progress. There usually wasn't, but Neville and his grandmother never lost hope that maybe this time it would be different. Dr. Engler wasn't in yet, so Neville had a seat while his grandmother remained standing. She preferred not to get too comfortable, as if to try and convince her that someday Neville's parents would be out of the hospital, and nobody from the family would ever have to return to this damned place again.  
  
"Gran?" Neville asked tentatively.  
  
"What?" she snapped. Visits here always made her on edge.  
  
"Do you think Dr. Engler will have any news?"  
  
"Why do you always ask me that? Every time, Neville. Surely you can remember that there's never any progress."  
  
"I still like to hope, Gran." Neville looked at the ground, trying to hide the tears that were brimming in his eyes. His grandmother's face softened.  
  
"I like to hope, too, Neville. I think that's all we can do, though," she said, her voice much less harsh. At that moment, the door swung open, and Dr. Engler walked in with a clipboard. She nodded her greetings to Neville and his grandmother, and sat down behind her desk.  
  
"Good morning, Mrs. Longbottom, Neville. I hope you're doing well."  
  
"As well as we can, Doctor."  
  
"I understand." Dr. Engler looked down at her clipboard, and then back up at the Longbottoms. "Well, I have some news for you." Neville looked excitedly up at his grandmother, tears replaced with hopeful excitement. His grandmother took a step closer to Neville's seat, her hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Well? What's the news?"  
  
"You might want to have a seat, Mrs. Longbottom."  
  
"I prefer standing, thank you."  
  
"All right. Well, I think you'll be pleased to know that Frank Longbottom -"  
  
"Dad?" Neville interrupted. Dr. Engler gave him a kind smile.  
  
"Yes, Neville, your father. He's shown signs of knowing where he is. We're not positive, and we'll have to run some more tests, but we're pretty sure that he knows he's in a hospital."  
  
"So will he be able to recognize us?" inquired Mrs. Longbottom.  
  
"I can't be sure. This is progress, though. It gives us hope, and we all know that's something to cling to, especially when involving You-Know-Who."  
  
"Yes," whispered Neville's grandmother.  
  
"Well, I expect that you'll want to see them now. Time is precious." Dr. Engler stood up, and followed Neville and his grandmother out the door. The three walked in relative silence towards the room that Neville's mother and father shared. The screams of pain that echoed faintly in this particular corridor were enough to send any full grown wizard into wracking sobs. Each of the patients in this wing was tortured via the Crucio Curse during the days of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Neville's parents were at the end, in the intensive care section.  
  
Both of Neville's parents were in the same room. They had been separated when first admitted, but they seemed to be in more pain when apart. They had never hurt each other; just simply screamed and cried for the pain to stop. It was as if the curse had never been lifted from them, as if they were still under its power.  
  
Despite coming here for the past fifteen years, Neville still found it difficult to hold back his tears. His deepest wish was, when he told his parents how much he loved them, that their pain would suddenly stop, and they would know who he was. They would tell him that they loved him, too, and it was time to go home, a complete family at last. Of course, he couldn't tell any of his friends back at school this. They didn't even know about his parents. That was how he wanted it. Above all else, he despised sympathy, and it was something that was unfortunately abundant in his life at Hogwarts. His klutziness and misfortune tended to earn copious amounts of sympathy from his fellow Gryffindors, and often from the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws as well.  
  
Finally they reached the Longbottom's room. Dr. Engler gave the two an encouraging smile, and opened the door, allowing Neville and his grandmother to walk in.  
  
"MAKE IT STOP!" yelled Neville's mother, tears streaming down her face. She was huddling in a corner, her arms wrapped around her legs, pulling them to her chest. She convulsed repeatedly, as if electrical shocks were being sent through her, yelling and screaming at the top of her lungs. Neville wanted nothing more than to run to her and hug her, tell her it was all going to be okay. But he had made that mistake when he was five, and she had flung him off of her violently, shouting obscenities at him, blaming him as the cause of the Unforgivable Curse that was wracking through her body. Neville's attention didn't stay on his mother for long.  
  
  
  
His father was in the opposite corner of the room, rocking back and forth. At first glance it looked like he wasn't in pain, until Neville caught a glimpse of his face. It was stretched out in a look of immense fear, and his hands were gripped tightly on his hair, as if he was ready to pull it out if the pain or fear, or combination of the two, got any stronger. He was muttering constantly as well, Neville noticed. He strained to hear his father's words: "Out of here, I need to get out. Out, out, out. Pain no outside. Pain inside. Out. Must get out." Over and over his words were repeated.  
  
Neville could see what Dr. Engler meant by improvement. Only in August, the last time Neville had visited his parents, Frank Longbottom was screaming as his mother was now. Whether or not Frank Longbottom knew he was in a hospital, he at least knew he was inside somewhere. This gave Neville hope. Hope that he might someday have his parents back, hope that maybe You-Know-Who's stain on his family might finally be gone for good. Hope that his parents might be able to feel his love, and return it.  
  
Unable to take any more, Neville's grandmother left the room. Neville followed numbly after; he didn't want to stay here alone, or else he might start screaming in the same manner as his mother. Dr. Engler was standing outside, a look of sympathy in her eyes. The same look that she always had when Neville and his grandmother came back out. Someday, Neville promised, someday that I won't have to see that look anymore. He didn't know who he was promising to, but it was a promise that he intended to keep.  
  
His friends didn't know it, but he was already looking into becoming a professional herbologist. He wanted to find remedies for curses that lingered in plants. Professor Sprout had always told him to play to his strengths, and everyone knew that Herbology was the only class that he couldn't ruin. There had to be plants out there that could fix these kinds of things. There just had to be. And Neville wouldn't rest until he found them. Neville followed his grandmother and Dr. Engler down the hallway towards the exit of the hospital. Yet another visit was over. It would be another few months before he could come back, at Easter. He stopped in his tracks suddenly.  
  
"Wait! I'll be right back," he called to his grandmother and the doctor. He ran back to his parent's room, and looked in the window. His parents were still in their respective corners, huddled, scared, and in pain. His eyes started brimming with tears again. "I love you, Mum. I love you, Dad." He closed his eyes and prayed that when he opened his eyes, they'd be normal; they'd be smiling and waiting for Dr. Engler to open the door. He opened his eyes. They were still in their corners. Neville let a tear fall down his face and wiped it away quickly. He walked slowly back up to where his grandmother and Dr. Engler were waiting.  
  
"Sorry," he said. "I still like to hope." Both nodded their understanding, and continued their walk to the front of the hospital.  
  
  
  
-Review please. nothing too harsh; it's my first time writing in the HP section! 


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